gosh, i just realized how much there was to do recently and then i check deviantart to see that it's Fella's birthday!



Fella is so awesome. i should make something for him, like many others have done so creatively.
but sadly, there are already so many things i need to finish.

drawing is so time-consuming for me. so is sculpting. don't get me wrong, i love both; they're my passion. but then i realize that i need to go do something else in the middle of sketching something...
or i don't seem to get it "right", because perfectionism doesn't come in handy when you want to just release your emotions onto a blank spot on your Photoshop/drawing pad/word document/lump of clay. or anything you might use to rightfully vent your emotions on.

so i'll just change the subject from complaining here. i am very thankful for my life.
my uncle, Chris, the youngest sibling in my dad's family, is dying from lung cancer. about a week ago my parents flew from here to Virginia to meet him and to get together with the family.
the miraculous part is, the doctors said he had 5 years to live, at the very most. that was 6 1/2 years ago.
if you go to my gallery and look at the four white foxes bunched up together, you'll see what I made for him, and the story too, of course. it was something done at the last minute because i procrastinate way too much. since my parents were leaving at about 6 in the morning, i put them in the oven at about 3:30 AM. of course, my parents noticed that i stayed up way too late.
*sigh* procrastination may be enticing, but it kills you!

therefore, i only got a picture of the fox angels when they were in their soft unbaked form. i thought they were too plain, but later i talked to Chris on the phone and he told me that he liked them.
it was a strange experience. it was sad to hear my uncle (if you know what i mean - i dont know how else to say it), but also gratifying to hear his voice much stronger than i imagined, and the fact that he and his family enjoyed the gift.
(i also wrote them a card and gave them a verse from the Bible - John 14:27.

“I am leaving you with a gift — peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." )

i'm so happy for that verse. it means so much to me.
it brought me back to my senses. i am so thankful for my life. and for eternal life.
aren't you? ^_^

speaking of life and death, i have something interesting and truthful to say.
my friend posted a very interesting site about Heaven and Hell on her page. this was another thing that brought me back to my senses that night.

Heaven and Hell are real places.
people stereotype Christians as people who only preach about the fires of Hell, when the truth is, true Christians have realized that God is love.
you can imagine how wonderful God's goodness and His Kingdom must be, since He alone wants the best for us! He loves us, so much, that He gave His only Son so that we can go to Heaven! while we were still sinners! He loves us more than we can ever process.
i'm not meaning to preach to you, but some have a wrong idea of our Creator.
God is not all about wrath. He is love and He loves each of us dearly. He only wants us to turn from our sins and trust in Him, since our sins separate us from Him and His goodness.. the very absence of God is hell.
along with 's very important post (please go to her page and check it out if you'd like), here is another video on youtube about people who have actually witnessed what Hell is like, and then they actually came back to this earth and realized God's everlasting love for them; how He wants us to go to Heaven and experience His wonderful blessings.

Jesus is knocking on the door of your heart. He has His arms outstretched for you to come to Him and accept His gift of salvation so that He can gift you with eternal life, righteousness, and His Holy Spirit. He wants to shower His blessings upon you!

there are 9 parts to this video and its pretty long, but it's worth watching whenever you have the time - if you've been wondering about God, heaven or hell, your salvation, or just are curious, this will deeply touch your heart. i believe that it will bring peace and hope to you, if you truly want it to.

[link] (parts 2 and on appear in the related videos.)

there are so many things i want to draw that also can relate to this. the ideas just keep appearing in my mind and then more appear when i want to get it down.
i know its the opposite of artist's block, but i just don't want these ideas to go away.

i went to the University of Arizona bookstore with my sisters and saw this little jar that had a bunch of random magnetic words, labeled "the cure for artist's block". i guess random things can give you ideas...
or just looking at subjects you like, things you know that inspire you.
anyway, i hope that things like this work. that would be so nice artist's block can be such a pain.

so before i finish this post with a hug, i will let you know that some more art is HOPEFULLY on its way. its not guaranteed, but if i can, i will greatly do so. i recently decided to try drawing a creepy figure from my imagination when i was a child. her name is Miss Paint. except i bet you'll think that she's not creepy at all when you see the drawing. i think that childish fears are creepy when they're totally not, and I'm sometimes not scared of many REALISTIC fears, strangely enough.

i'm thinking of throwing in something to do with the words "dark and beautiful", because i got into a little conversation about that and its meaning with my friend Angharad the other day. "dark and beautiful" is complicated, but maybe i can give it a try if i ever have the time.
and there are so many more sculptures i need to make. when i get into the mood, i finish it with glee. if not....


just kidding. it's fun.
okay, huggles everyone!
who else here is a night owl, only becoming the most inspired at night when sleep taps on your shoulder?

and of course, there is school. more time to doodle on the papers and pay attention. :^_^:

wuv all of you!